Jumping Out Of My Comfort Zone

I moved to Chicago about four months ago. Something they don't teach you in high school or college is how to meet people and make friends outside of school confines.

In high school, many of you grew up together. You know the people you go to class with, and probably know their siblings, their families, where they live in the neighborhood, and what car they drive.

Once college comes around, you know less people (or in my case, no one), but you still share common similarities. You start conversations on majors, where you're from, why you chose this school, etc. Even though you may not know one another, you both know the common ground you share to speak about.

What happens in the real world, though? Once you leave the safety net of school and your college town? Where do you go to make friends? How do you start a conversation with someone you know nothing about?

To do this, I joined a recreational volleyball league. I played volleyball from seven years old until I was seventeen, and I was interested in finding active outlets to fill my time. I've heard great things about Chicago's rec leagues. Many people who moved to Chicago after college said these were an easy way to meet new people. I decided to try it with the thought that even if I didn't connect with anyone, I was doing something I enjoyed doing.

Since I was out of town on the weekend of my team's first game, I showed up for game two knowing no one. What's worse: I was the only one looking awkward. Since the other players had all met their teams already, I had no one to talk to or sit by. I stood by the court my team was supposed to play on and waited for the game being played to end.

A man asked me, "Are you Faith?" He must have noticed I was standing alone and probably looking uncomfortable. I said yes, and he introduced himself and our team members he was sitting with. My team members asked questions about my trip, and we talked about the game I had missed. Conversation seemed to flow easy, and we made our way to the court for our game.

After our matches, my team headed to Houndstooth on Roscoe for a post-game brew. We sat around a table at this noisy bar on a Sunday night and talked. We shared where we work and what we do for a living. We talked about which neighborhoods we live in and the restaurants we like in those areas. We discussed our latest Netflix binges and what shows to watch next. It was surprisingly easy to talk to my team members, and we enjoyed the time spent together.

What I learned? It's okay to step out of your comfort zone. I joined this team knowing no one. For most people–and most times, myself included–shying away from opportunities because they are unfamiliar is the norm. Hell, girls don't even go to the bathroom without a friend. Recognizing that it's okay to do things on your own and do things for you, because you want to do them is not only healthy, it's downright liberating.