Lessons from the Last Year

What lies before me can't be written in a book. Just yet...

One week from today is my birthday. Lately, I've been thinking a lot about where I was at this point last year: a senior in college, still unsure of my future, wasting my time with people that didn't have my best interests in mind, and grasping on to every last bit of my undergraduate experience. I look at that girl and am amazed at how much I have changed in the last year.

This time last year, I did not have a game plan for after graduation. I had the feeling I would be continuing my experience at Heart Technologies, but the ink wasn't on paper yet. I was not willing to bank on anything until it was signed and finalized. As I sit here today, I am still not entirely sure of what the future holds for me. I do know that I have some great adventures ahead and plenty of opportunity awaits me.

I won't sugar coat it: I was naive. I believed that if you treated people well, they would treat you well in return. What I found was not so true. In the last year, I have found that there are some relationships–be it acquaintances, friendships, or beyond–that aren't meant to last forever. There are some people that, no matter how much support and care you give someone, it is not always returned. Some people will take your kindness and selflessness for granted. What you have to do is take it as a learning experience, be thankful for the good times, and move forward. I wish no ill-will on those that have wronged me. Instead, I hope for their healing and growth, and that one day, they will learn to treat others differently and that good karma comes their way as a result.

As I blow out the candles on this year's cake, I don't need a wish. I've got a lot to be happy with as life is now.

I've also learned that there are people that do care about you just as much as you care about them. It's important not to overlook those people, and it's important to keep those relationships strong. For me, graduation was a big eye opener as far as friends go. There are people that I am not as close with as I thought I would be. However, there are people that I am closer with.

When we shared a house together senior year, I could always count on one of my roommates to make the long trek from the attic where she lived to the basement where I lived. We'd lay in my bed and talk about work and school and life. Now, hours apart, we're still close, even though she can't hug me and tell me everything is okay when I feel like the world is falling apart.

One of my best friends moved to Minnesota in May and got engaged to the love of her life. Despite the fact that we are in different states and very different parts of our lives, we still find time for each other. When I know I'm overreacting, I can still count on her to set me straight and give it to me honest without being rude or hurtful. I am appreciative for my relationship with her each and every day. 

I've also learned that it's okay to be alone. May brought in a lot of changes for me. I graduated college, my friends moved away, I let go of some toxic relationships, and I began living on my own. These were not easy adjustments for me. In time, though, I grew into these changes. I left school, but I began a new chapter and exciting of my life. My friends moved away, but I remained close with many, and I was able to strengthen my relationships with other friends that hadn't left. By ridding myself of the relationships I didn't deserve, I learned to love myself. I learned how to go out, socialize, meet new people, hell, enter a room on my own. I don't need anyone but myself. I am strong, I am confident, and I am worthy of every good thing that comes my way. There's no one that is going to get in the way of that.

Living on my own has been fun, but it can get lonely. With the adoption of a precious cat named Jackson, I have my very own little companion that makes me happy every day. Even as he snoozes on the floor next to me, I can't help but be completely in love with that little cat face. I will now end my love-rant for my cat, or I may never stop.

As my 22nd year comes to a close, I am happy and proud of the person I have come to be. I look forward to seeing how life pans out in the next 12 months, and I can't wait to find out what's next on my journey ahead.